14 weeks ago I was dieting with shakes. I was on a liquid diet of 800 calories a day. I was restricting myself because I was disappointed in myself for regaining 75 pounds. 6 weeks later I lost 25 pounds. A good friend asked me what was different this time? How did I know I would not regain again? How many times was I going to lose the same 50 pounds and regain it? I decided to call the behavior specialist center at the hospital. 6 weeks ago I started going to my psychotherapist. She explained to me that we are dieting our way to obesity. That I WILL regain the weight again if I do not get help. That I have an eating disorder called binge eating disorder. I have done to therapy once a week. I have visited a dietician. I am now on my road to recovery.
With that said. I can not give you a weight because I not weighing anymore. I can tell you that I went from a size 18 to a size 14. I feel great! I struggle with not dieting. I feel lost that I do not have to count calories. I am not bingeing as much anymore. I feel great!
I am very thankful for where I am at today. I am thankful for each and every one of you for your support. I pray that you find your solid path to a healthful life.
Thank you.
Tina
December 17, 2011
December 13, 2011
Dietician update
I went to my dietician appointment yesterday. I really had mixed feelings about what to expect. Any dietician I have ever been to has put me on a meal plan with rules.
She asked me a ton of questions. Like do I dream of food? Does what I eat consume most of my thoughts? Am I worried about body image? What was my weight before I started dieting?
She asked what a typical day looked like for eating. Here is what I told her.
Breakfast: oatmeal, toast, milk
Snack: fruit
Lunch: Could be casserole or meat, grain and veggie
Snack: Veggies and dip
Supper: Soup
Snack: Peanuts
To my surprise, she said I was on the right track. In fact, the only thing I need to change is to make my meals more well rounded. A meal means they consist of 3 to 4 of the food groups. So pick 3 or 4 of these: Dairy, Protein, Fruit, Vegetable and Grain. So you can see at breakfast I only had dairy and grains. Not a meal because I only had 2 food groups. That is a snack. I could easliy add a fruit in there or some bacon to make it more rounded.
Now weekends are another story. I eat junk. I drink beer. I double my calories. She still wants me to enjoy things but not to spike up my calories by so much. She said it is typical for someone to vary by 300 calories a day. And that is what the body can handle. So I need to keep my diet the same even though it is a weekend.
She does not want me to count calories or measure food. She is just trying to get me regular so I can feel when I am hungry. She gave me a hunger worksheet. I need to chart how I feel before I eat on a scale of 1 to 10. And then chart how I feel after. I will also be writing down what I eat so she can make sure I am getting enough calories. Believe it or not, my goal is to maintain my weight right now. Not sure how I feel about this goal but she said it is hard to do and we need to get my body used to it. Right now my body is used to fluctuations. It never knows when it is going to starve or overeat.
I see her in 3 weeks.
Goals for the next 3 weeks:
1. Write down hunger levels
2. Write down what I eat
3. Eat more well rounded meals
4. Maintain my weight
5. Eat more well rounded on weekends
Live healthy!
She asked me a ton of questions. Like do I dream of food? Does what I eat consume most of my thoughts? Am I worried about body image? What was my weight before I started dieting?
She asked what a typical day looked like for eating. Here is what I told her.
Breakfast: oatmeal, toast, milk
Snack: fruit
Lunch: Could be casserole or meat, grain and veggie
Snack: Veggies and dip
Supper: Soup
Snack: Peanuts
To my surprise, she said I was on the right track. In fact, the only thing I need to change is to make my meals more well rounded. A meal means they consist of 3 to 4 of the food groups. So pick 3 or 4 of these: Dairy, Protein, Fruit, Vegetable and Grain. So you can see at breakfast I only had dairy and grains. Not a meal because I only had 2 food groups. That is a snack. I could easliy add a fruit in there or some bacon to make it more rounded.
Now weekends are another story. I eat junk. I drink beer. I double my calories. She still wants me to enjoy things but not to spike up my calories by so much. She said it is typical for someone to vary by 300 calories a day. And that is what the body can handle. So I need to keep my diet the same even though it is a weekend.
She does not want me to count calories or measure food. She is just trying to get me regular so I can feel when I am hungry. She gave me a hunger worksheet. I need to chart how I feel before I eat on a scale of 1 to 10. And then chart how I feel after. I will also be writing down what I eat so she can make sure I am getting enough calories. Believe it or not, my goal is to maintain my weight right now. Not sure how I feel about this goal but she said it is hard to do and we need to get my body used to it. Right now my body is used to fluctuations. It never knows when it is going to starve or overeat.
I see her in 3 weeks.
Goals for the next 3 weeks:
1. Write down hunger levels
2. Write down what I eat
3. Eat more well rounded meals
4. Maintain my weight
5. Eat more well rounded on weekends
Live healthy!
December 11, 2011
My last meal
I made it! Another week of not weighing in. I know seems stupid to be so proud of that. But I really do want to weigh. Only because I feel as if I am gaining. But if I weigh and I see I gained, I would diet. And that is a no no right now.
My therapist says this is very normal. Why? Because I am scheduled to see my dietician tomorrow. This dietician specailizes in eating disorders. She is not there to put me on a diet or restrict me from foods. (This has been confirmed by my therapist again and again with me). But in my head, I feel I am scheduled to start a new diet tomorrow. So guess what I did all week? I ate! I ate like I was going on a diet. My last meal. My last snack. My last treat before my restricting diet starts. I love psychology!
I will post tomorrow and let you know how my visit with my dietician went.
Hope everyone is doing great and looking good in those dresses!
Tina
My therapist says this is very normal. Why? Because I am scheduled to see my dietician tomorrow. This dietician specailizes in eating disorders. She is not there to put me on a diet or restrict me from foods. (This has been confirmed by my therapist again and again with me). But in my head, I feel I am scheduled to start a new diet tomorrow. So guess what I did all week? I ate! I ate like I was going on a diet. My last meal. My last snack. My last treat before my restricting diet starts. I love psychology!
I will post tomorrow and let you know how my visit with my dietician went.
Hope everyone is doing great and looking good in those dresses!
Tina
December 7, 2011
One cookie or One dozen?
I am having a hard time with Christmas cookies. My daughter and I made a several dozens of cookies over the weekend. We gave plate fulls to neighbors, coworkers and friends. We still have dozens left. I left a bowl on the counter for everyone to enjoy. I froze the rest. I plan to bring them out for our winter ice fishing trips.
I have been doing pretty good with having 2 for one of my snacks every day. They do not seem to entice me much. I think I may even be getting sick of them. It used to be I would have ate a one dozen or more a day. So what has changed? The fact that they are here and available. The fact that I have more in the freezer. The fact that I CAN have them. I think this new method is working! In fact, today I had a yogurt for snack instead of cookies. Because I wanted too! I feel a little freer from food everyday.
One Cookie or One dozen? The choice is yours!
Live healthy at thinchic.com!
I have been doing pretty good with having 2 for one of my snacks every day. They do not seem to entice me much. I think I may even be getting sick of them. It used to be I would have ate a one dozen or more a day. So what has changed? The fact that they are here and available. The fact that I have more in the freezer. The fact that I CAN have them. I think this new method is working! In fact, today I had a yogurt for snack instead of cookies. Because I wanted too! I feel a little freer from food everyday.
One Cookie or One dozen? The choice is yours!
Live healthy at thinchic.com!
December 5, 2011
Week 15 - NO WEIGH IN
Sorry - I forgot to link up yesterday!
You read the heading right. No weigh in! This is part of my therapy this week. My therapist asked me not to weigh. I hesitantly agreed. She said my metabolism is slow and my body is adjusting so weight gain is very normal. But she does not want it to affect my mindset. I also have to keep working on conscious eating this week.
Here is what I am doing. I am eating what I want only during scheduled times. I eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner and snack. If I want doritos during snack I have it. If I want a Christmas cookie, I have it.
Now this is almost harder on me than a diet. I know this sounds weird. But I have a fear of a binge if I eat a cookie. Here is the weird part! I hardly even crave these things. This is because I have given myself permission to have them. And because they are readily available. I have a grocery bag of individual bags of chips and sweet chex mix at work. I can have one for snack if that is what I want. I also bring other things to work so I have decisions. My therapist and I decided work was a safe place to have the snacks since I am alone here at home during the day. I will let you know how this week goes with my bag of treats.
The other thing is conscious eating. I hate it. I am bad at it. I can not believe how hard it is. Makes me wonder what else I am missing in life because I am unconsciously going through the motions. This week I will eat my snacks without distractions. I will focus on taste, texture, sight, smell and the moment. Do I like this snack? Or could I stop eating it? Again I will report on this next week.
I meet with the dietician on the 12th. She is going to help me eat a more well rounded diet. She specializes in eating disorders so she knows what is best and when. I am worried about my meeting with her. I feel like it will be another diet that I will fail at.
Thanks for all the support!
Live healthy at thinchic.com!
You read the heading right. No weigh in! This is part of my therapy this week. My therapist asked me not to weigh. I hesitantly agreed. She said my metabolism is slow and my body is adjusting so weight gain is very normal. But she does not want it to affect my mindset. I also have to keep working on conscious eating this week.
Here is what I am doing. I am eating what I want only during scheduled times. I eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner and snack. If I want doritos during snack I have it. If I want a Christmas cookie, I have it.
Now this is almost harder on me than a diet. I know this sounds weird. But I have a fear of a binge if I eat a cookie. Here is the weird part! I hardly even crave these things. This is because I have given myself permission to have them. And because they are readily available. I have a grocery bag of individual bags of chips and sweet chex mix at work. I can have one for snack if that is what I want. I also bring other things to work so I have decisions. My therapist and I decided work was a safe place to have the snacks since I am alone here at home during the day. I will let you know how this week goes with my bag of treats.
The other thing is conscious eating. I hate it. I am bad at it. I can not believe how hard it is. Makes me wonder what else I am missing in life because I am unconsciously going through the motions. This week I will eat my snacks without distractions. I will focus on taste, texture, sight, smell and the moment. Do I like this snack? Or could I stop eating it? Again I will report on this next week.
I meet with the dietician on the 12th. She is going to help me eat a more well rounded diet. She specializes in eating disorders so she knows what is best and when. I am worried about my meeting with her. I feel like it will be another diet that I will fail at.
Thanks for all the support!
Live healthy at thinchic.com!
November 30, 2011
EATING, DRINKING and OVERTHINKING
I started to read a new book called Eating, Drinking and Overthinking by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema.
WOW! I can relate to what she says. She calls it the toxic triangle. For instance, on Thanksgiving, I was sitting at the table visiting. The wine came out. Then another. I drink so fast that before I knew it, I think I finished one bottle myself. Of course, this made me hungry. I snacked and snacked. Not like binge eating because people were there. But I was overeating and overdrinking. Does anyone else do this?
45% of women report that they are chronically on a diet.
1 in 5 adult women suffers from some form of alcohol abuse and over 13% engage in binge drinking.
1 in 4 women will suffer a severe depressive episode at least once in her lifetime, while over 50% experience mild symptoms of depression.
I will say I have consciously made an effort these last 6 months to limit my drinks. I can drink alot and in a little amount of time. So I plan that out just like I plan food out for the day. I have to or next thing I know, I have finished a 6 pack or 2 bottles of wine.
If you have this issue please pick up this book. It has been an eye opener for me!
Live Healthy at thinchic.com!
WOW! I can relate to what she says. She calls it the toxic triangle. For instance, on Thanksgiving, I was sitting at the table visiting. The wine came out. Then another. I drink so fast that before I knew it, I think I finished one bottle myself. Of course, this made me hungry. I snacked and snacked. Not like binge eating because people were there. But I was overeating and overdrinking. Does anyone else do this?
45% of women report that they are chronically on a diet.
1 in 5 adult women suffers from some form of alcohol abuse and over 13% engage in binge drinking.
1 in 4 women will suffer a severe depressive episode at least once in her lifetime, while over 50% experience mild symptoms of depression.
I will say I have consciously made an effort these last 6 months to limit my drinks. I can drink alot and in a little amount of time. So I plan that out just like I plan food out for the day. I have to or next thing I know, I have finished a 6 pack or 2 bottles of wine.
If you have this issue please pick up this book. It has been an eye opener for me!
Live Healthy at thinchic.com!
November 27, 2011
Week 14 weigh in
Last week: BMI 32.2 This Week: 32.9
Last week: Body Fat 46.8% This week: 45.7%
Last week: Muscle: 23.4% This week: 24.3%
Last week: Visceral Fat 9 This week: 9
Last week Waist: 38" This week: 39"
Last week Thigh: 23" This week: 23"
Weight: Last week 198 This week: 202.4
Weight loss this week: Plus 4.4 pounds
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 22.4 pounds
I told myself I would not freak out about this week. But when I typed the numbers - it is hard not too. I think what happened this week is that my metabolism is so low from weeks of not eating that eating again packed on the calories. Of course, I ate things I have been denying myself of for a long time. And I may have had more than one serving of pie over the holidays. I will say that I need to continue. I know my therapist would be very happy with this progress and I know she would tell me to throw away the scale. And someday I will be ready for that!
Here are some things I did do. I went to my excercise classes all week. I tried to eat consciously. I learned I am extremely bad at it! I am going to work on that this week. I felt freedom from not worrying about calories as I ate. I never felt I over stuffed myself or that I was deprived. I ate what I wanted and threw away what I did not want to eat. I had a great holiday eating experience.
Happy Holidays to each and every one of you!
Last week: Body Fat 46.8% This week: 45.7%
Last week: Muscle: 23.4% This week: 24.3%
Last week: Visceral Fat 9 This week: 9
Last week Waist: 38" This week: 39"
Last week Thigh: 23" This week: 23"
Weight: Last week 198 This week: 202.4
Weight loss this week: Plus 4.4 pounds
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 22.4 pounds
I told myself I would not freak out about this week. But when I typed the numbers - it is hard not too. I think what happened this week is that my metabolism is so low from weeks of not eating that eating again packed on the calories. Of course, I ate things I have been denying myself of for a long time. And I may have had more than one serving of pie over the holidays. I will say that I need to continue. I know my therapist would be very happy with this progress and I know she would tell me to throw away the scale. And someday I will be ready for that!
Here are some things I did do. I went to my excercise classes all week. I tried to eat consciously. I learned I am extremely bad at it! I am going to work on that this week. I felt freedom from not worrying about calories as I ate. I never felt I over stuffed myself or that I was deprived. I ate what I wanted and threw away what I did not want to eat. I had a great holiday eating experience.
Happy Holidays to each and every one of you!
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